


i carry you in my heart (in my heart)

by ballpoint



Category: Marvel 616, Young Avengers
Genre: AU, Angst, Character Death, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-10-01
Updated: 2010-10-01
Packaged: 2017-10-12 08:20:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,314
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/122859
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ballpoint/pseuds/ballpoint
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A potted attempt at an AU. Kate Bishop is head of The Mighty (not New) Avengers, she and Eli try to work stuff out, but they just can't in the end.</p>
            </blockquote>





	i carry you in my heart (in my heart)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Ryuutchi](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ryuutchi/gifts).



> _(A/N : this is an outline from an AU I don't have any business trucking with. It won't get done, so this is it)_
> 
> Warning: character death.

When Kate Bishop became the leader of The Avengers (Mighty, not New), Tony Stark handed her the title and rights to the mansion.

"Mr Stark, I can't accept this."

"Tony," he corrected, as he walked to the other side of the room. The Avengers Study, with its jewelled like rugs, priceless vases, and light filtering in through the three-part windows. Kate knew the mansion, studied the plans of it, was aware of its history. The Stark's seat in NYC for _generations_ , and he was handing it over to her, just like that.

Mr Stark gave a wry smile, as if Kate had opined her thoughts aloud, and shook his head.

"At the end of the day, it's only a pile. Just rocks, and cement on prime land. You know this, as much as I do. I could sell it on, make a killing in real estate -"

"But you wouldn't because of its history, because it means something. The memories-"

"People make it mean something, Ms Bishop. I'm sure you've come to that realisation, given your history with the YA."

The Young Avengers, who burst into her life through a glass window; shattered her previous existence into little pieces and gave her a newer one, a better one. The former Old Bishop building, turned into a clubhouse, a _home_ , and now, with this - Mr Stark offered her- no - _them_ , the trappings of the Avengers. The _symbolism_ , the name, the _history_.

"I-" Kate felt herself flush, half wishing she'd come to the mansion in her costume, complete with bow and arrows, instead of being clad in a dark, smart suit. "Mr. Stark -"

"Tony."

"You know I can't say no. That I won't say no."

"I don't want you to say no. There's more than one way to be a patriot. Every cause needs someone to rally it, someone to lead it. In the same breath, it needs a patron, and a sponsor. You're a smart, tough woman, and every cause needs one of those, too. So, what's your answer?"

"Kate," she grinned at Mr Stark as he clasped his hands around hers. He wasn't passing on a house, or a pile, but a benediction. He wasn't giving them something; they'd earned it. "If you're going to be handing me the deed to the damned Avenger's mansion, it's going to be Kate."

(When Kate thinks about that memory, it never fails to make her smile, even through her tears)

* * *

In the year Kate turned twenty six, she opened the Avengers' gardens to the public.

"The problem is, Billy," she explained, as they stood on the balcony, looking down at the schools of children swarming through the gardens. "Is that the Avengers tended to leave their light under a bushel. Which was acceptable back then, but we have to embrace our brand. Push it out there."

"Kate," Billy sighed. "It won't bring him back."

"It's not about Eli. It isn't."

But when Kate picks through the gardens at night, the grave stones illuminated by cunning lighting, she stops at the one with the kite shield, and admits that all of this is.

The first time they broke up, it had been after that business with Wanda, Billy and Tommy.

"You think we're less than," Kate jabbed her finger in the space between them. "You do stay and support, but you can't continue thinking that we don't have the right to be who we are, or what we do."

"I'm not -" Eli cut himself off, and tried a different approach. "You really think that we had the skill set to take on Magneto if he'd - if things had gone the wrong way?"

"No, but if you were in charge, you wouldn't even have made us try!" she cried, her voice loud in the quiet.

"Because we're still- after everything, we're just us, Kate. There are a thousand ways which this can go wrong."

"And _so_? You'd have made us abandoned Billy, or -"

"No. I wouldn't. I love Billy as much as you do."

"I can't - we can't do this." Kate stepped back. "We aren't on the same page at all, Eli. We-" and damn him for knowing too well what she had to say.

"It's fine," Eli gave her a little smile. They were both a lot tougher than the last time they went down this road, although it didn't hurt any less. "There's no 'us' in team, anyway."

Kate remained standing there in the centre of the room as Eli walked off, wondering if there would come a time where they'd get stuff _right_.

* * *

At twenty four, Kate thinks that she knows enough about death. The loss of her mother at fifteen, the trauma to her person a few months after. When Eli's grandfather dies, he's desolate, haunting the mansion's garden at night. Kate finds him one bitterly cold morning, standing in front of the varied Avenger's gravestones after the snap of first frost.

"It gets easier," Kate says, as she touches him on the shoulder.

"Yeah?"

"In some ways. With my mom, I can remember her laugh, and the first time she took me to the Met. Sometimes, the wind will blow a certain way, and I'll smell her perfume. But that's nothing compared to the thing what matters the most."

"The thing?"

"I carry her in my heart, Eli. Just as how you'll carry your grandad. That's the best we can do."

Eli's lips tremble, and his eyes are sheened with tears. Kate hugs him, because whatever happens they are team mates first.

* * *

"You got the mansion? _In. Sane_!" Teddy roared, swinging Kate around. She laughed, holding up the papers, absorbing the whoops and hugs from Cassie, Tommy, Billy and Jonas.

"We're packing now!" Cassie squealed, ran out of the room, ran back in and hugged Kate again. "Yahoo! Kate, I-" Cassie blinked, her eyes dazed with pleasure and disbelief. She wiped at her tears with the heel of her hand. "Oh thank you!"

Their old lair now rocking and creaking with the noises of moving, and Tommy, babbling, just as excited as Cassie, all his cool cynicism gone.

"Congratulations," Eli said, holding up a bottle of soda in salute. Kate bounced over, swiped it from his hand, and took a swing.

"What, no hugs for me?" Kate sipped at the fizzy drink. Ever since the death of his granddad, Eli had grown more sombre. But death changed people. They either drifted in the wind and scattered everywhere like coal dust, or pulled together with great effort and became diamond hard. Eli, like her, embraced the latter tribute, and in a way, she was sorry.

"I think you have had enough, Kate."

"What's one more?" Kate slid her arms around his waist, tilted her face to his. With a defeated sigh, Eli drew her to him, and said, "Congratulations, kid."

* * *

The (third) time they hook up, it's crazy. The party Tony Stark throws to welcome the (new, not New) Avengers is - to quote Teddy- _In. Sane_. Kate will blame the bubbles in her blood and the giddiness that she feels in his arms on champagne (Dom, the good stuff, darling, not the piss that they cart out for the jumped up _nouveau riche_ ). They tumble into bed, and Kate doesn't know whose it is, she just knows that she's on top of Eli, and they are _flying_.

"I can't believe we're going to have sex in the Avenger's Mansion."

"Stop being such a fanboy," Kate attacks Eli's suit, biting her lip to strangle a moan as his hand runs along her inner thigh, tearing the skirt of her Chloe dress in the process. Oh, la. "And pay attention to _me_. "

The debauchery of what they are about to do hits her just occurs to her, and her grin matches his.

"We're _so_ having sex in the Avenger's Mansion."

Kate likes being on top, the freedom and pace of it. Her hair unbound, their skin sheened and slicked with sweat. The first orgasm is so quick and fierce, she can only grasp. Eli grips her thighs, and Kate knows that she won't be forgetting this joust soon, so she revels in it.

There are things that Kate wants to say, but doesn't. _I'm glad you came with us, I'm glad you're with me. I'm glad that we're now Avengers. I'm-_ she doesn't say them though. Every time the words want to trip out of her mouth with spontaneous glee, she kisses him, tastes the champagne on her tongue, the salt on his skin, and that's enough.

When they come to, sticky and spent, Kate's head is on his chest. The lights from the party outside play on his face, and there's a hunger there, and she knows the expression on his face is reflected in her own.

"Eli," she whispers, but he only frames her face in his hands and licks into her mouth. Kate closes her eyes, and never mind that it isn't their bed, but it's their mansion, damn it, and she's glad he's here. Every time she opens her mouth to say something, he kisses her again. She finds herself on her back, pressed into the mattress, Eli on top of her, and it's all right, is her last thought before she kisses him. It's all right.

* * *

"I don't know," Eli said, as he braced his body weight against his arms, looking at the map of galaxies between them. "It's the Nameless, and I know that we have an alliance with them, but is it our war?"

"We can't not go. It's a request by the nobles, we can't not go."

Both of them were the only ones in the war room. The others had left, and Kate was glad of that. As much as Eli's manner tended to be brusque at times to the point of rudeness, he tended to point out what needed to be said.

"I know. I don't trust it. I'd suggest two teams, and divide the heavy hitters between them."

"That's what I thought, too."

"If the twins' Uncle Pietro can try and talk to Crystal, we might be able to grant a reprieve-"

"And keep earth out of the wars?" Kate shook her head, and said with wry amusement, "We're one of these planets that keeps punching above its body weight."

* * *

The battle is fierce; and grim. Numbers fall on each side, the skies light up as bright as sunbursts. Kate has abandoned all means of firing arrows, because gravity is playing a hinky trick with the shots that she takes, and is fighting the horde.

"Stay with me, Hawkeye."

"Patriot," Kate smiles grimly as she puts her fist through the skull of her opponent. "Fighting, people revolting, and no silver service. No more dates with you off planet, ever."

"Can't say I don't know how to show a girl a good time."

They fight long and hard. Kate's breath is growing short, her muscles _ache_ and it's Billy that finishes it; his power a battle song and cry that whips through the throng. The flow of the crowd changes, like a tidal wave pushed by a giant fist.

"Hawkeye!" Eli cries and Kate feels her hand being grabbed, the sickening roll of pain that makes her cry out. She's in Eli's arms, as he pulls her to the side.

 _Are you okay_ , she mouths at Eli's grimace, and he nods, his fingers gripping her forearm. _Yeah, I'm okay_.

Kate doesn't remember much after that, only that they are in the Quinjet. Vision has started it up and they are going, only for Eli's feet to give out from under him, and he collapses on deck.

"Eli." Kate drops beside him. "Eli -" only for him to pull his hand away from his stomach, and there's blood everywhere.

"No," she whispers. "No, no, no."

At twenty five, she thinks she knows about death, but is acquainted with another aspect as Eli shakes his head.

"No tears, Bishop," he says, "no tears."

"No," Kate shakes her head, as she rips off her goggles and throws them to one side, dimly hearing them shatter against the wall of the Quinjet. Gently, she thumbs off his mask, and frames his face in her hands, her thumbs stroking his cheek. "No, not like this. I lost my mom, I can't lose you. Not yet. I - We were supposed to break up again."

"And hook up again?"

Kate nods, her smile tremulous, her eyes sting with unshed tears. "It would have been for real, the next time."

"Until we broke up again." Eli says, his weight against her body becoming more and more acute, and Kate holds him against her chest. Her heart is numb, her skin is chilled, but at least, at his behest, there are no tears.

* * *

Every time Kate comes here, she sets flowers on the grave stone. She does so now, a pot of bright mums. She'll plant them tomorrow, later. She looks at the Mansion from the bottom of the garden, and remembers a young man, their teenage years, and how they got here. Soon, she knows, just like her mom's death, the sting will ease, and there won't be any tears.

Just like with her mom, knowing Eli has made her a better person, and a better hero. Just like her mom, she wishes she'd have had the chance to tell him what he meant to her, and how she'd give anything to have him back. She can't, and does the next best thing by having the gardens open, and life running through them.

Kate traces her fingers along the words of the poem she had etched in the stone, and mouths the words, because they say what she cannot: _here is the deepest secret nobody knows/ and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart/i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)._

Fin


End file.
